Me and my bae
I’m actually sad because I always bring Scottie (the lobster) to bed but his claw is ripped so he’s downstairs on top of Mum’s sewing pile :(
Almost a thousand people in West Africa die from ebola and nobody bats an eyelash, yet 2 white people in the US contract it and miraculously a cure is released and given to them because they’re an “extreme circumstance.” Satire is dead and real life is a dystopian hellscape
Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:
"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"
"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"
"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"
"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."
"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"
- "It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"
- "GREAT WHITE OFF THE STARBOARD BOW" = "FUCKING OW"
|Song: Everyone's A Little Bit Racist|
|Artist: Avenue Q|
|Album: Avenue Q the Musical|
|Played: 1,227 times.|
I feel like Tumblr needs this right now.
Either this family has no idea how green screen souvenir photos work or they know EXACTLY how they work.
For you I’d orbit around a supernova. I’d burn up a sun just to say goodbye.